W as straight man

Wednesday, June 27th 2007, 4:00 AM

Nathan Lane wants to end discrimination - and give heterosexuals a pride march.

"The grand marshal of the Straight Pride Parade - don't you think it's gotta be George Bush, in a tank top and cutoffs?" he told me Monday.

Celebrants could "play a little touch football and then go home and have sex with a woman. I think that's saying it loud and proud."

Lane was being honored by the Trevor Project, a national crisis and suicide-prevention help line for gay and questioning youth.

Speaking of questioning - look, there's Jodie Foster! According to a source, the petite actress donated $150,00 to help open a New York call center.

"I was introduced to this charity by my friend, the co-founder, [Oscar-winning producer] Randy Stone, who passed away recently," she told us. "He was a great friend and worked tirelessly to help many young people. I want to do whatever I can to help continue his work."

Youthful spirits

Liquor is about to get a lot more youth friendly!

The folks who brought you Donald Trump 's Super Premium Vodka announced a partnership yesterday with Interscope Geffen A&M Records to develop a new wave of delicious, celebrity-branded booze (and nonalcoholic) products.

According to a statement: "The deal will provide Drinks Americas with the potential to partner with select iconic celebrities ... including artists such as Eminem, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, Busta Rhymes, G-Unit, Daddy Yankee, Sheryl Crow, Enrique Iglesias, Chris Cornell, Gwen Stefani, Marilyn Manson and many others."

Not really names that are going to appeal to an older crowd, did you notice?

Butter's Grade-A list

What, you weren't invited to the Most Famous People on the Planet Conference at Butter Monday night?

Shortly after Madonna and Janet Jackson left the Lafayette St. hot spot around midnight, two giant black SUVs arrived and disgorged Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Penelope Cruz and Shakira. (It's like the State of the Union Address: At least one high-ranking celebrity has to be in a secure location in case the place is bombed.)

The foursome rolled into the club arm in arm. Ashton dragged Penelope onto the top of a corner booth to dance to '80s hits, while Demi and Shakira whispered to each other on the dance floor.

Later, Demi and Ashton lip-locked to an Annie Lennox song, while Penelope and Shakira got their groove on with engaged NBA superstar Tony Parker. Watch out, Eva Longoria!

New York Minute

Leonardo DiCaprio and rapper Q-Tip were spotted hanging together around 3:30 Sunday afternoon at the juice bar Liquiteria on Second Ave.

Beloved TV "Supernanny" Jo Frost plans to celebrate her birthday tonight by taking in a performance of Broadway's "Mary Poppins."

Glenn Close, Joe Torre and Robert De Niro separately checked out Tony-winner David Hyde Pierce at recent performances of "Curtains" at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre.

If your husband made a million a week, what dumb thing would you spend it on? According to In Touch magazine, Victoria Beckham has designed a $500,000 closet for her new L.A. home. It supposedly features a leather floor, Baccarat crystal chandelier, $80,000 Andy Warhol shoe print, a computer that tracks when she wears items of clothing and a camera to give her a 360-degree "cat scan" of her outfit before she steps out.

Don't Shoot the Messenger

Which recent handsome escort of an errant heiress was just a gay friend called in to make her super-rich ex jealous?

With Laura Schreffler