Beer, wine, and spirits come in all flavours – why shouldn’t our descriptions of their pleasant effects do the same? The National Pist proudly presents as many ways to say you’re drunk as we could think of while sitting around getting good and Guinness-headed. If there are any notable omissions, by all means rescue us from our ignorance and let us know!

Enjoy!

A. Addled, Ale’d, Alight, A few shades to the wind.

B. Bagged, Badgered, Ban jaxed, Bashed, Battered, Been drinking, Bent, Bladdered, Blind, Blasted, Blathered, Blitzed, Blotto, Boiled, Bombed, Brahms & Liszt, Buckled, Buzzed.

C. Cabbaged, Campaigning, Canned, Chevy Chased, Clobbered, Creamed over, Crocked.

D. Dead drunk, Dean Martinized, Decimated, Discombobulated, Dipsomaniatic, Dizzy, Drowned, Drunk, Drunk as a Lord, Drunk as a skunk, Drunken.

E. Etched, Ethanol engorged , Ethanolized, Etherized, Euthanized.

F. Fecked, Feeling it, Finished, Flushed, Flying, Frothy, Fruit looped, F*cked, F*cked up.

G. Gassed, Galvanized, Gin rummied, Glazed, Goosed, Green, Groged, Groggy, Guinness headed.

H. Had a few, Haggard, Hammered, Hanging, High, Hosed, Howling drunk.

I. In with Bacchus, Inebriated, In orbit, Intoxicated, Irish eyed.

J. Jagged, Jaxied, Jiggy, Jolly, Jugged, Juiced.

K. Killed, Kinked.

L. Laced, Lamped, Lashed, Leathered, Legless, lispy, Lit, Lit up, Liquored up, Loaded, Loo la, Looped, Loopy, Loose, Lubricated, Lush.

M. Mad, Mangled, Mashed, Melted, Merl Haggard, Merry, Minced, Monkey-full, Mottled, Muttled.

N. Newcastled, Nippy, Nailed.

O. Off me pickle, Off me trolley, Off my rocker, Oiled, On a campaign, On assignment for The Pist, On a piss-up, On the bottle, Out of it.

P. Painted, Paralytic, Past .08, Pickled, Pickwicked, Pie-eyed, Pished, Pissed, Pist, Plastered, Ploughed, Potted, Pole axed, Polluted, Puking.

Q.Quitted, Quintessential.

R. Ratted, Ravaged, Razzled, Reading The Pist, Rosy glowing, Rubbered, Rubber legged, Ruined, Rummed, Rummy.

S. Screwed, Scuttered, Sh*t faced, Shot, Silly, Slaughtered, Slammed, Slewed, Sloppy, Sloshed, Smashed, Snatered , Soaked, Sotted, Sous, Soused, Sozzled, Spangled, Spannered, Squiffy, Steaming, Stewed, Stitched up, Stiff, Stinking, Stink-o, Stone drunk.

T. Tanked, Tight, Tipsy, Toasted, Totalled, Trashed,Twisted.

U. Ugly, Under, Under the influence, Unsafe to drive, Unsober.

V. Vinic, Visiting the vicar.

W. Warped, Washed out, Wasted, Wellied, Wet, White washed, Wined, Wiped, Wired, Wrecked.

X. X’ed out.

Y. Yodeling out of tune.

Z. Zombied, Zonked.